Friday, February 6, 2009

Trialthlon Man

So. I've been talking about doing it for well over three years now. A triathlon. Thing is, when I started talking about it, I was in pretty decent shape for it (or I was swimming a lot, at any rate). Times have changed.

Last weekend I was at my gym (for the first time in three months or so), and I saw a sign for an upcoming indoor triathlon. Nice n' short. And like that, before I could change my mind, I paid the fifty bucks and signed up. The problem, however, is that it was three weeks from that day.

Images started coming to my mind of waking up in a hospital, one of America's (too many) twenty-something-year-old males to have had a heart attack. So I've started training. How much progress can I make in three weeks? It remains to be seen.

By triathlon standards, this one is a breeze. Time, not distance. 10 mins. swimming, 30 mins. biking, 20 mins. running. True triathletes would scoff. Personally, I'm really nervous about it. Forget about how far I go or where I place; my goal is to finsih it without stopping. That's it. If I don't stop, I win the gold medal, in my mind.

What else?

Yesterday, a friend asked for my advice. She was making an Evite for a baby shower that she was throwing, and under the "Will you attend?" box she wanted to have something funnier than "Yes", "No", and "Maybe". She asked what would be funny for a baby shower? I said:

"I'm coming through the front door, head first, and covered in placenta."

"I'll see-section if I can make it." And

"Sorry, I've gotta abort."

While she enjoyed them, she suspected that the mommy-to-be probably wouldn't. People are so touchy about the things that grow inside them. (Ten points to anybody who uses them for a baby shower in the future.)

Thirdly, I haven't been surfing in forever, and it's making me completely crazy. We're having one hell of a nasty winter in NY, and my motivation to go to the beach is staggeringly low. This time last year I was in Costa Rica, and I've become obsessed by thoughts of going there, or somewhere like it, and just surfing for a week. Can't go, though. Gotta work. No fun. In the meantime, I haunt surfing websites; prowling daily for new photos, videos, articles, anything. I'm not sure if it helps or makes it worse, in actuality, but I do know that nothing can replace the feel and taste of the ocean. Need to get back in, and quick.

Until I do, though, I'll use the swimming pool at my Y like a piece of nicotine gum, and think of this triathlon as training for some waves. Hope they're coming soon.



2.6.09 5.14pm

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Backlogged... no, backBlogged

Dear readers (are any of you still out there?),

It's been a long time. The longer the time grows in between entries, the harder it becomes to write. Pressure builds. I feel like I have to write more, to fill in everything, to cover all the things I've been thinking about, and so the task becomes so large in my mind, that I balk at attempting it.

I hereby shirk that task.

I'm not going to attempt to catch you up on everything. I'm just going to do my best to stay current with my current thoughts.

One of the reasons I've been a-blognacious (what?) is that I've been pouring my writing energy into something else, namely sketch comedy. Last year I was hit by a realization that it'd always been a dream of mine to work for SNL, so I started focusing my energies thataway, and have been writing sketch ever since. Some are good, some are bad. Will I ever make it to the show? Remains to be seen, but please do cross your fingers for me (as I just recently sent in my first submission).

Also, in the past months there have been a good number of blogs that I've started (some I've finished, but not proofread), and I will likely be releasing those in days to come.

Also also, I will no longer be updating my myspace blog. I hope everyone who reads me over there will come over to

More soon (very soon).

1.27.09 12.08pm